I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
