Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
