i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize