Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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