im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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