how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
