God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
worst night to have a conscience
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
