I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
