8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
