i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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