What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
