How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
