I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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