the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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