It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
