Can i not drive my cunt home
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize