it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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