Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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