who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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