I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Small penises have feelings too.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
