Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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