he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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