Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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