I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
