Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
