we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize