haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
