Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
