The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
