So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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