Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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