All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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