i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize