Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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