Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
