I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
