So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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