Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
