Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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