I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
