Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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