I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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