The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
