I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
