i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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