My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
