im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
