I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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