On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
