I think im going to throw up on grandma
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
