is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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