it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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