Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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