we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize