We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
