O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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