whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
