So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
