why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
