I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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