I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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