Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
